Surrender

Posts on Love

Sitting near the beautiful blue water of the lake, I saw the reflection of a girl, who is conscious about her hair-do, who keeps gazing into the mirror for minutes and then blushes to herself, who talks to herself for interminable hours, who reads romantic novels and who sees a totally different world in her dreams at night.

It is at this time of life when nature appears more appealing as if bestowing its entire beauty on the princess, and all the natural powers are devoted to nurturing her innocent body.

It is at this time of life when the sound of rattling bangles pleases her ears, a thought to wear a saree stays suppressed somewhere at the back of the mind, and sometimes, a sudden rage to learn cooking drives her towards the stove.

At night, the moon seems to be more than a mere white ball in the sky, and she feels vain enough to soon be able to meet someone she had been waiting for years, and now she would be having to decide about her future with him. He would be arriving soon, as a result of some unceremonious event ordained by heaven.

She strides determinedly across the veranda barefoot, when her silver anklets make sound, her hair set free , the bangles break on the floor and her dupatta drags on the ground.

That’s how she is – curious, passionate, devoted, obsessive and submissive. Just a small part of her beauty is accredited to her genes, but the rest seems to have been engendered by love, accredited to her beloved. It is difficult to tell who loves whom because love can not be distinguished. Love is soluble and it dissolves everything into it, including the nights’ slumber.

And sometimes it may dissolve the whole life into it.

Anyways, coming back to the girl, she also seems to have devoted her adolescence to love because he has yet not arrived and she is still sitting on the door till night. Sleep is unbeknownst to her. She likes to see dreams with open eyes. The phases of the day may change though but time chooses to stop for her.

It doesn’t mean she is cut off from the world. Her ambitions are decided by her feelings and her path is guided by the light of satisfaction.

History means nothing, but whatever she is today, and whatever she will be someday is all because of the feelings. She is free to chase her ambitions, and flirt with life through random ideas until he comes. Because waiting has its own joy, because, fantasy is different from reality.

She is alone, but still committed,

She is desperate but still patient,

She is sitting but still walking.

She is evolving with experiences.

One day he would come to claim her. Because whatever she would be, it will be only because of him, for him.