Something Between Us

Romantic Stories on College Life on WordsAllMine

Synopsis: Romantic Stories on College Life. A tale of  a young boy who falls in love two and discovers its true meaning having undergone various downfalls.

 

 

I was living in my native place, Solan, a small town in Himachal Pradesh. It was, for me, a slice of heaven with natural splendor strewn around in the form of generously flowing rivers and imperious grass covered mountains. The most rejuvenating breather was to heed the sound of fresh air pattering on my ears as if telling me about the many scents blended inside it.

 

I was a lone person but I can never forget my intimate relationship with the lush landscape that would accompany me. Probably, that’s what makes my college days unforgettable. But soon, another reason was going to be added to my flourishing years of adolescence when I took time from my books to join my classmates for an excursion in the neighboring place of Kasauli for three days.

 

By this time, I didn’t even know my batch mates well who had been sharing the same lectures with me for the last four years in engineering. So it was quite my first time to pay attention to people besides the animate surroundings which boded well indeed. I found them nice and amiable and they too gave a warm welcome to the new add-on in the group.

 

Suddenly something happened which had to change everything inside of me in one blow. It can be called as the first monsoon of love in my life…

 

My eyes fell upon an angel when she was going for trekking with a huge bunch of friends. From the corner of my eyes, I kept gazing at her face until I could see her talk incessantly for eternity. Her smile and shining black eyes were sending tingles of shivers down my body. Her perfect figure accentuated by the body-hugging tank top in black with matching black sweat pants kept me dazed.

 

It could have been an initial attraction for the first sight but it arose a sense of curiosity in me to know about her. So I asked my friend about her and I was shocked to know that she was from my class. Her name was Anu Priya.

 

As soon as we returned from the picnic, I started surfing facebook with the same name. There, I found her in a flick through good deal of mutual friends. She was looking stunning in her DP – a close up of the same smiling face that would allay all the problems of your life. I don’t know if that was why I wanted her to be mine. But I scrolled down to check her relationship status.

God’s Grace! ‘Single’.

I mused, “ready to mingle…!”

 

I opened her ‘about’ section from where I learnt that she belonged to the same town as well.

‘What better a reason could be than this to convince our families for marriage’…I chided myself for making castles in the air.

 

I sent her a friend request and she immediately accepted. A green dot below her profile pic told that she was online. But I did not have guts to talk to her. ‘What if she thought I was one of those annoying stalkers?’ I decided to let one day pass to initiate any casual talks. So I waited for my time but till then, I kept scrolling her pics over and over. She looked marvelous in all of them. But I felt that it was not her beauty that appalled me everytime. There was a unique shyness in her smile that I liked very much. The small mole on her chin which beautifully contrasted her fair skin appeared to have a magnetizing effect on my eyes.

 

“Hi”. I wrote to her the next day.

“Hello”. She responded in a minute, an eternity for me.

“This is Varun here. How are you?

“Yes I know you. We are in the same class nuts.” she quipped.

“Hope you enjoyed the trip.”

“Yes…a lot. I always like such outings. It’s so much fun.” She wrote back.” What about you?”

“I think I found my destination there…”

…

 

The talks continued in the classroom the next day. We discussed about our town, our families, the common friends, our funny moments, sad stories, everything. I told her about my budding interest in art and photography. She considered it as a bright career choice and motivated me to carry it along while I was determined to become an Engineer and pursue photography only as a part of my hobby. During the exams, I would help her in the studies, which gave me an edge over her fellow friends. In a long run, it helped me spend more time with her and know her inside out.

 

Her father was a research scientist and her mom was a member in BJP. Even her extended family had strong political influence. They were imperious and opulent. While on the other hand, my dad – a Hindi teacher in Government School, was the only earning member in the family.

 

Considering this difference, I dropped my plan to propose to her. Her ‘No’ could break even the tenuous thread of friendship between us. It was hurtful compromise with the reality not to tell her about my feelings though. I just wanted to be with her as much as possible until one day, I stumbled upon an online contest of photography.

 

I had to prepare and submit a video on a social worker’s life. The deadline was too close and I didn’t know any such person. When I told Anu about it, she took me to her aunt’s place who had devoted all her life in training unprivileged women to make them earn their livelihood.

 

Well, it was quite uncomfortable on my part to go to her relative’s. Any bad manners and I would spoil my impression. I wore a formal shirt with pants and permed my hair with gel. With shy nervousness and courage, I visited the rendezvous with Anu on the same weekend. Her aunt was fabulous in the way she had maintained herself so well in old age. She was divorced 20 years ago and lived alone in the huge opulent apartment. The servants, swarming across the hallway filled her home. She greeted us well and making us sit comfortably in one of the sumptuous rooms, she started asking about the project. I timidly explained the details I needed to cover for the interview. With a generous grin, she expressed her happiness in helping me out.

 

I was pleased too… to have Anu’s shoulder inadvertently adhering to mine as we sat together in bed. The kind lady kept answering to my questions and I was noting down everything. But in the midst of the interview, she was informed by a servant about her co-workers’ arrival. The lady asked us to excuse her for fifteen minutes and stormed outside.

 

Now, we two were alone in the room, as if on cue. A strange silence prevailed making me both excited and nervous. Couple of minutes passed after which Anu turned towards me with strange expression in her eyes, as if searching for something. I was puzzled.

 

“Your aunt is such a kind and helpful person”. I remarked while fiddling with my pen.

“Hmm…I know…but you are the best…Your sincerity gives me a high every time I am with you”. She said huskily.

 

She got on her knees and bent towards me, as if exposing her sexy cleavage on purpose. She came so close that I could feel her heavy warm breaths and our hearts were beating together like in a musical rhythm.

 

Her open long hair tickled on my ears as her hands dug into my neck.

…

“I love you Varun.” She whispered to me.

I guess my heart missed a beat amid the music going so perfect. My body froze and I could not say anything, not even what she just said to me which had made my ears numb. I could never imagine in the best of my dreams that she too could have such feelings for me. That she could love me.

 

Everything came to a standstill, when her pink strawberry lips touched mine and my trembling hand slipped down on her breasts. Her lips got a tighter hold now. But my first experience of a kiss was making me all the more nervous. Fortunately, I felt rescued when Anu recoiled back all of a sudden. Her aunt came back from the meeting.

 

Days after that were never like before. We had entered into a relationship in which she told me about her past relations and intimate encounters with her two ex-boyfriends. I was hurt and a little angry but felt contended to have her confide in me every single thing about her past. We were poles apart in our thoughts, hobbies, and values but the common feeling of intense love had bridged all differences between us.

 

We would bunk college to meet up at our own chosen secret places, so as to be far away from the bustling crowd. Resting in each other’s arms, we would leisurely plan our future ahead.

 

I wanted to find a decent job in engineering which meant migrating to some nearby city. But she, as I knew was all too different. Her dream was to pursue MS in telecommunication and all it meant was to go away from me to a distant land.

 

A blink of eyes marked the end of our graduation in a year when I got a job in an MNC in Delhi and Anu had cleared GRE in her chosen subject. The separation was unbearable for me but I didn’t stop her from following her dreams. She flew to USA leaving me behind and many dreams due in my aching heart.

 

Either I was more sensitive or she was more impassive that she was least affected by the distance. But I used to be worried all the time for her. I just wanted her to be with me so that I could take care of my angel myself.

 

Whenever she would come to meet few of her relatives in Delhi, I would be waiting for her at the airport with a bouquet of her favourite orchids, and my handmade ‘gajar ka halwa’.

 

We would spend some time in our rented apartment where she would tell about her exciting life overseas and I would shower my countless kisses on her. But the love making would be cut short by her for the little time she was spared to meet the relatives.

 

With time, unfortunately that shortage of time kept increasing for her and her visits kept getting less frequent. Now, she would only talk about her life in US until one fine day when I vented out my sneaking frustration for being taken for granted.

 

On 23 march 2012, we fought for the first time. I was tired of begging her to talk to me because she had changed. She was lost in the world which was still alien to me. Nor did she seem to make me the part of it. I was late to realize how the physical distance had turned into an emotional one. I assured her that once she gets back to India, I would try my best to restore everything as before. But her talks indicated that she was not considering to ever come back.

 

Several more days passed but her talks only got superficial, her smile plastic. I never gave up her until one day, she disclosed her verdict, “WE SHOULD LEAVE IT HERE.”

 

My heart which had been aching for so many days was finally broken. I was depressed because of loneliness and pain which no medicine could cure. I spent days and nights reminding myself that my first love has gone away forever but still a small part of my heart kept hoping for her to come back.

 

I opened the facebook and started reading our first chat. Tears flooded down my cheeks to read our beginning after the end.

 

Suddenly, my eyes flitted over to her updated photos. And I stumbled upon another shock of my life to see the one with her second ex- boyfriend. So, that was it.

 

…

 

Now, 5 years have passed during which I have completely lost all hope in love. For me, it had turned out to be a selfish game played upon me as and when another person desired.

 

Life is strange. When you try to run away, it starts running behind you, offering its many possibilities. My dreams have evolved along with me over the time. Along with my job, I do part-time shoots for budding models. My work and the wonderful city like Delhi gave me another chance to move on.

 

During this journey, I came across a girl, as lost as me, in the throng, who was chasing her dream to become a full time writer from an engineer. Her name is Prachi.

 

But that was not the exact reason, why she became the only girl in all these years to open my heart to. Like me, she had also faced failure in her relationship. I found her sailing in the same ship of turbulence. A connection of pain had become a reason for our night long talks on phone.

 

Way too different from other girls, Prachi never goes out for shopping, nor does she like to waste time and money in hanging out. She is sincere, almost like a geek, like I used to be. And the irony is, she doesn’t leave any promises due.

 

Today was the day for a long awaited one to fulfil…

She was finally ready to recite me her self-written piece of poetry for which I had been prodding her for a week. It was midnight and my roommate was sleeping in the same bed. So, I sneaked out secretly in the open terrace for her phone call.

 

The eleventh hour of eternity,

It’s when did you arrive

For my love for you,

No words to describe.

 

As deep as I know,

as precise as I brief

All my imminent needs,

rest in you very deep.

 

Every step you transcend

makes my heart react

to the secrets whispered

and the shackles yet to rend. 

 

As that we are not distant,

can only felon try to recede

at one more step close,

the air around is diminished.

 

That which is the heat of love

keeps going to my head

Let the intoxication remain

until the new day is laid. 

 

But now hold me tighter,

love me little more

so that I can surrender,

to the deep abyss explored.

 

A romantic poem at 1:00 am on a chilly winter night! I was taken away by her mesmerizing voice flowing in the air and a kiss slipped out of my mouth.

 

I didn’t think I would ever fall in love again. I know that everyone says that after a heartbreak, but the difference is that I’m not heartbroken. I’m not cynical, or pessimistic, or sad. I’m just someone who once felt something bigger than anything else I’d ever felt and when I lost it, I honestly believed I would never have that again. But… I was 22 then and life is long. And I’m feeling things right now that I haven’t in a long, long time. 

 

She blushed and cut the call. I think I have fallen in love again…

 

‘But this time, I should be careful.’ I tell myself.

I call her back…

“Prachi!”…” I feel a strong connection with you which is getting stronger with time.”

“I too feel the same for you.” She says shyly.

“But before I confess, let me tell you that it won’t be the same kind of love as before. I don’t have anything to give you except for a broken heart. ”

“Don’t worry; I would also give you a broken one in return. But shall never break yours.”

 

‘Is it a compromise? Why don’t I feel the same craziness as I did during the first time?‘ I wonder and my stomach sinks as I say the words… “I love you…Prachi!”

 

She does not say anything for a while as if mustering some strength and then her voice comes…

“I love you too.”

“Let’s have a new beginning.”

“Let’s sleep. It’s too late”. She snaps.

 

Instantly, I miss how Anu would keep chatting away all night forsaking her sleep.

 

‘Is first love irreplaceable? But if it is, what’s the point? Afterall, it’s never going to come back. Ultimately, all you need is the right partner. I have to appreciate Prachi as an individual, not as a substitute to allay my loneliness.’

It seems I am torn between craziness of love and maturity of life, entirely two opposite things because your craziness goes away along with first love. While the setbacks accumulated over the years turn you mature…practical.

 

You start looking at everything in an analytical, calculative manner.

That’s what I feel as an injustice towards Prachi. But I hope that she would understand when I don’t offer her a bunch of her favorite flowers, or hand-made ‘gajar ka halwa’. Because I can’t do that anymore for anyone. Along with Anu, a part of me has also gone away.

 

Indeed, in some way or the other, I am once again in a relationship. And I feel, I shouldn’t be afraid, because Prachi is mature and simple. We don’t go out, like other couples do. I only give her flying kisses on phone and she is satisfied. Nor does she ask for anything.

In short, it’s not happening like love and something like frustration has started building up in my heart.

 

I open my Facebook over a month later, and find Anu online. Once again, I remind myself to delete all old chats and memories.

“Long time!”  She pings me.

“Yes…5 years, 2 months and 15 days”. I reply

” OMG..you are still the same….baby…”, she writes.

“How are you?”

“I am not good. Please forgive me, if you can. I have realized no one could ever love me more than you. I am so sorry to hurt a person like you. ”

….

“I don’t know what you are upto…Drunk? Or have you quarreled with your boyfriend?” I retort.

“I have broken with him two months ago and the only person I ever loved truly is you baby. Please come back to me. I am so sorry.”

 

I can’t stop my tears. I feel I still love her and the love would never die. I can forgive as many mistakes as she makes. What can be better than having your first love back.

‘But what about Prachi???’ My heart sinks again.

 

‘I would make her understand that what’s there between us is not love. Just a compromise for our mutual loneliness. She is just a friend. And will always be. I can still support her in every way.’

 

“There???” Comes Anu’s ping.

 

‘Wait! Is the thing between me and Anu is love? Or a selfish game of desires? Atleast I can’t ditch Prachi for my ex the way I was betrayed by Anu for hers. Right now, what I feel is love is not craziness. Is Love maturity then?…’

 

“Please reply baby. I can’t live without you.” Another ping.

I try to think again…’Love is commitment, not convenience. It’s not about being available for someone all the time, but it’s about faith when someone is not available. More than happiness, it’s about sharing your pain with someone. And if you have that someone, you don’t need to think ever again.’

 

“And I can’t live without Prachi…the love of my life!” I scribble on the chat window.

 

Anu goes offline without a reply and I take out a notebook to compose my first romantic poetry…

 

The vacuum carries all

that is just our soul

for it radiates the message

as the emotions fall upon.

 

Just hold me tender

love me little gentle

so that I don’t fall

In the dark abyss abandoned.

…

 

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